Life As a Mama of Two

Life is settling back into a new norm. For a while there, I’ll admit, the days felt pretty much full with the basics (nappies/feeding/settling/etc).

I always thought Cameron was an easy baby (my sister used to laugh because he really wasn’t, I just didn’t know any better) but now I know what it’s really like to have an easy bub. Lucy is beautiful and very relaxed. I think it’s mostly temperament but also partly how my mothering has changed.

Cameron still woke for a feed at one year old, whereas Lucy (from 3 weeks, she is now 6.5 weeks) is already – usually – only waking for one feed between 11pm and 5:30-6:00am (when Cam gets up and Mike goes to work). I know, I’m so lucky!

She’s also a good sleeper in the day and is only fussy when it comes to wind and she does get whingy if you don’t feed her right.that.second. She doesn’t bring up air well and is a strong feeder who gulps air a fair bit. But that is literally the only thing she struggles with, she is a natural breastfeeder (attached herself right after birth!) and is gaining weight perfectly.

She also likes the car (Cam used to scream so loud and high pitched and made it so hard to go anywhere!) She will sleep through noise too and is happy to be passed around for cuddles. She is such a little sweetheart and I just can’t wait to get to know her.

Lulu is already growing so fast! She smiled for the first time a couple of days ago and she is starting to focus her eyes and attention so much more. She is vocalising more too. She is very strong and has amazing neck control (has since birth, just like Cameron) but Lucy is less keen on tummy time (Cam loved it, whereas Lucy is either indifferent or mildly annoyed by it! hah).

Cameron is 28 months old and he is really thriving as a big brother. Sure, we have our moments, but all-in-all he is doing great. He loves to help with Lucy and he is at that awesome age where he is gaining independence in all areas and is keen to learn about everything.

Prior to having Lucy I really feared how it could impact mine and Cameron’s bond and relationship. But really, nothing has changed. Lucy has fitted almost effortlessly into our lives and makes it even better, even more. I’m so thankful for my babies and the bond that I have with them both.

Cam is really growing within himself. I see his confidence and independence developing. He is eating better and has finished teething. He is very chatty and his pronounciation is slowly improving. He comes out with the funniest things and is very inquisitive. He amazes me with how great he is at so many things and how he really is just a little person with such a unique and formed personality.

He is still very keen on art, reading, all sorts of matching/sorting activities and practical life activities. We are still doing tot school activities. I need to start taking more pics of our tot school-esque adventures because I really enjoy it but haven’t been ‘recording’ it. I’m observing Cameron more just in the past few days and hoping to get back into the swing of things in ways that I know will benefit him.

One thing that I’m stumped with is toilet learning. Cameron has been ready to use the toilet in every way (other than emotionally, it seems) for a long time. But there has always been something delaying it (teething, sickness, me being heavily pregnant, a newborn, etc etc) but now I feel like I’ve missed it with timing and it’s going to be hard. Cam knows when he needs to go, will go to the toilet and sit on it but flat out refuses to actually go, despite many ‘tactics’. He loves to use toilet paper, flush and wash his hands but he tells me he would rather poo and wee in his nappy. He also doesn’t seem discouraged by wetting underwear or the floor, he just helps me clean it up and moves on. Any advice?

When I was struggling with mental health, I found it so hard to accept that children do what they do when and how they want to (with respect to eating, learning, social interaction, etc etc). It’s not that I didn’t realise that was the case, or wanted him to be perfect or anything.. but it was an inward battle where I didn’t want Cammy to find things hard. But now I see that you can provide all the opportunities; but it’s up to the child as to how they respond. & why would you want you child to find everything easy? What’s life without failures and mistakes?

Anyway, just a small update. I am hoping to type up my birth story (a video blog version can be found on my Youtube channel). Thank you for your lovely comments/emails/subscriptions. It means so much to me. Hopefully I will get more into blogging and vlogging now that things are settled and we are all doing well. Let me know if you have any questions! <3

Lucy Violet is here!

Lucy Violet entered the world at 6:25am on the 25th of March after a 17 hour labour. She weighed a petite 6 pound 8, was 51 cm long and had a head circ of 34cm. I pushed her out in one push!

We are all in awe and in love with her! She is just beautiful and such a dream baby. Aside from a post-dural-puncture ‘headache’ (so not a headache, as those in the know would know!) & the consequent visit to theatre for an epidural blood patch, we have been doing beautifully. I am so blessed and this is such a different experience to last time!

Baby Purchases

It has begun… the baby purchases!

Some people in real life have been surprised that we are selling lots of our baby ‘stuff’ (cot, change table, toys, etc). However, it’s mainly because we didn’t really know what to expect the first time around & now we have more of an idea of what we need for our parenting styles and what works for us.

I am definitely aiming for a more Montessori-inspired baby stage this time around.

Basically this means that Bud will be sleeping in a moses basket initially but we will start to co-sleep soon after (not traditionally Montessori but I find it best for breastfeeding).

We are also getting a mattress for a movement mat which will go in the playroom next to the mirrors on the wall. We hope to have some Montessori infant mobiles too. Kylie kindly gave us the Rainbow Ring Mobile from the Visual Mobile Series. I am making the bell on a ribbon and wooden ring on a ribbon (pictures to come) & am contemplating making the Octahedron Mobile.

Other than that (and the usual necessities like a new car seat) we are getting more natural baby toys.

Anyway, our first purchases have been:

A second hand ikea play gym

A puzzle ball (sometimes called clutch ball) from etsy

Wooden teething rings from etsy

Montessori grasping beads from etsy

There are several other things that we are hoping to make as well which I will blog about when we get to it.

A great source of inspiration for what to provide in the infant stages and when to introduce them is the series that At Home with Montessori (a brilliant Australian company) has been posting. Also, see the posts on How We Montessori for many of these things in practice.

Anywho, it’s 3 am and I have pregnancy insomnia but I’m going to attempt to get back to sleep

Changes

Things are pretty different around here at the moment. This pregnancy has hit me hard. I’m exhausted almost from the moment I wake up and certainly nauseous from the second I wake.

I don’t have severe ‘morning sickness’ but I have nausea all day. Despite sleeping for a minimum of 8 hours (up to 11!) I am drained all the time. I think that is why my breastmilk dried up so quickly and painlessly – my body just couldn’t cope with both!

Pretty hat Cam

Cameron is doing SO well without breastfeeding. I really expected this to be harder than it was. It has been over a week since his last feed and he no longer asks for ‘boobah’.

Mike has also taken to putting Cam down to sleep so that he can get used to both of us. Last night it took only as long as it does for me. I bought Cammy a Thomas the Tank Engine pillow case & toddler pillow which he adores. It helps heaps with the transition of bedtime. His bedtime routine hasn’t changed any, which helps as well.

But things are different at the moment. I am not mothering how I usually do, I’m just too fatigued and blergh to keep up with my usual self. Cameron has adjusted to that too, sadly. In a way, though, I think it is good for him to learn to adjust to Mummy needing time and I have been encouraging him to independently play a lot more than usual.

It is hard not to feel guilty. So much has changed in Cammy’s little life. But he’s doing great. I wish I could bake more with him (smells, blergh!), chase him around and really full-on play like we used to, setting up of elaborate ‘educational’ activities, and what not.

My hilariously-large belly baby/bloat

On the very worst of days there is still good food, the usual routines, some reading, a dash of stimulating playful learning and free outdoors time when possible. I just need to adjust as well to all these changes as he has…

On Pregnancy

“I’m going to be a BIG BROTHER!”

On revealing ‘early’

Someone had the guts to tell me that revealing a pregnancy before 12 weeks is a ‘bad idea’ *rolls eyes* It isn’t a magical mark.. believe me, I’d know. I’d rather celebrate each of our little souls from the very beginning.

I understand those who feel differently but don’t understand why people (especially those who haven’t been there!) feel the need to tell me to feel otherwise!?

Oh and I’ll be having a baby shower too.. every child deserves a celebration!

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On symptoms

I’m feeling really great aside from nausea (yay for high potency ginger capsules) and tiredness (read: exhaustion). I am super emotional and cry at the drop of a hat.

I am one of those women who sports the pregnancy ‘glow’ and very early on. My sisters sister-in-law guessed that I was pregnant as soon as she saw me last week!

Oh, my other symptom, which is hilarious, is that I’m super bloated. I wore some maternity clothes today. Oh dear.

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On how we found out

We found out through my Dr as I didn’t think I was fertile & wanted to talk about TTC (we fell on my 1st postpartum cycle! we are so very blessed!) & it turned out that I was almost 6 weeks pregnant at the time.

So Mike found out by me calling him, in shock after seeing a line darker than a control line for the first time! It is a very different experience for us, not having been in TTC-mode, but Mike is over the moon.

 

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On gender

I know you are meant to say that you don’t care which gender and that you would be happy with a healthy baby and leave it at that. But truly, we have preferences. The preference just happens to change day-to-day… sometimes hourly (LOL).

I nicknamed this little one ‘Bud’ and so eventually they will be Rosebud or Buddy. Mike is pretty open that he would love a little girl this time around.

I’m going to be very honest now.

Initially, when we were thinking about TTC, I was so against the idea of having a girl.

I really feel like a great mother to boys, it’s just in my nature. My strengths really compliment raising boys and I just adore the mother-son relationship.

(I also have never been a girly-girl. All the pinks make my eyes sick )

However, since we are considering this being my final pregnancy (more on that another time – big shift from our original plans of 3-4 littlies), Mike has made it pretty clear that he would find it hard if we didn’t have a daughter. Which makes me more open to it.

I know that sounds silly but I am just being real here, I would happily be one of those Mums to a bunch of boys. But now, the idea of a Rosebud is sneaking into my mind more frequently and I think I’m sitting more in the middle now.

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On breastfeeding

My breastmilk is drying up.

Cameron hasn’t had a breastfeed since Sunday night. He hasn’t fed to sleep and he is doing soooo well. I’m extremely proud of him.

I sobbed. As in, ugly cry, wailing sobbed, when he easily curled up to me and slept without asking for boobah.

It has definitely been harder for me than him. He asked for “Mummy hand” and cuddled my arm and slept tonight… normal time… quicker than usual… no fuss. He is growing up.

Oh, how I will miss Cameron & my breastfeeding relationship.

I know that I’ve done well to feed him until this point (19.5 months). And I know that this is pretty great timing. My body needs this break (it’s practically forcing me!) and it’s good for Cameron to not associate this comfort stopping as a result of his little sibling.

It also gives us a great amount of time for him to adjust and start to sleep full-time in his own bed.

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Thank you for reading my ranting

Teething, Talking and Toileting

Oh Teething, how I hate you!

My poor mite is teething. It’s super-duper obvious and seems to be paired with a developmental leap this time so we are in the thick of a not-so-pleasant phase.

 Cam enjoying a calming camomile tea (known as the Flower Tea, to him)

Cameron is constantly knawing on his fingers, refusing some foods, demanding others, whinging in general and feeding more frequently.

Only up side to teething is that he sleeps better than usual during the day. He’s often down for 1.5-2 hours (which isn’t normal for him!)

Cammy has always managed to get 2-5 teeth at a time and I’m pretty sure that we are in for a few this time too. He is getting his fangs and boy are they red and swollen. He even got one cut through then go back up. Not fair!

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On the topic of ‘developmental leaps’, Cameron is amidst one now. He is getting increasingly frustrated with his inability to communicate himself well. He even tantrums at times and I hate having to tell him “I don’t understand what you want”.

In the past 12 weeks his vocabulary has tripled. At 16 months he frequently used 50 words in context and now, at 19 months he is using over 150 words and he is adding to that daily. Toddler development amazes me.

There is no wonder that he struggles sometimes when so much is going on in his growing body and mind. He is suddenly interested in numbers, letters (phonics), colours (he loves to point out anything red and blue), shapes (especially circle and diamond) and naming everything.

He looooves to read and will bring books to me, ask me to read them ‘again’, and ‘read’ to me too.

He has gone from simply expressing himself with one word to making simple sentences more often to describe things, and to ask & answer questions (e.g. “there is [the] car”, ”bee mug [with] flower tea?”)

He really loves to sing and will say “Rachel!” (he calls me both Rachel and Mummy, switching between the two) to get my attention to show me that he is dancing to the music while I’m driving. He sings along to Bruno Mars “Marry You” by singing the ‘no no no no no’ and ‘yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah’ bits. Too cute. Hah!

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We are transitioning Cameron into his own bed during day naps and it is going well. He carries one of my pillows to his ‘special bed’ and picks a book to read before having a quick feed before nap time.

He is definitely ready for toilet learning now. I have been reading online articles about “toileting the Montessori way” (google to find tonnes of great resources) and think that Cameron has been ready for a fair while now and I have been resisting.

Cameron can tell me when he is peeing/pooing and is keen to put his (Thomas the Tank Engine) padded seat on the toilet, to use a stool to sit on the toilet  himself, and imitate wiping, he likes to flush and will wash his hands (we have one of those automatic soap dispenser thingees… I was so annoyed when Mike begged for one but it’s handy for Cam!)

So really all that Cam is missing is a patient Mum who is willing to give him the opportunity to learn and make mistakes.

I have some organic bamboo training pants coming in the mail and I have cut up some old towels in halves for accidents and got a couple of toileting board books from the library. Wish us luck!

My Week

My week has consisted of getting a tooth pulled, getting dry socket due to said tooth, celebrating my nieces 2nd birthday, playdates, reading (parenting books, reference books and Cameron’s books over & over), adventures, Montessori playgroup, park dates, & lunch at my Mum’s where we got to talk to my Grandma and Grandad.

I also enrolled Cameron into the Montessori Children’s House that is associated with the Infant’s House that he goes to playgroup at. Eep! He could be eligible to start when he is 3 (2013) 2 days a week (short days, but still!) which would mean that next year is his last year at home full time with me!

I truly hope he does get in then though. It is perfect and I couldn’t choose a better environment with better people and resources for him to develop as a little person. I always get filled with a sense of something special and peaceful about the Montessori Children’s House.

Cameron has started to ‘read’ to me.

Our strawberries have started growing.

Our coriander is taking over!

Cameron’s fascination for transportation is only escalating. He is now hearing and spotting airplanes so enthusiastically that he hears and sees them well before anyone else. (note also, the new space for the outdoor play kitchen and the cats sunning themselves! hah!)

Cameron is obsessed with babies at the moment. He is so gentle, quiet and naturally caring that he just melts my heart! Here he is giving his baby ‘boobah’. Bless! (in the photo he is yelling “baaaybeeee”)

This pic is from earlier this evening… Cameron went to sleep in his own room in his special bed. We got my pillow, read his favourite (for the moment) story and then I asked him “do you want to go to sleep in your special bed?” and he nodded and said “yes, nigh nigh, boobah, please”.

Such a non-event and a nice start to the gentle transitioning into his own bed. Hopefully the rest of the journey is as painless.

I, however, feel lost. I’m ready to go to bed and I feel odd without him there. Wish me luck!

A Sibling For Cammy?

Tomorrow is cycle day (CD) 10. Yes, I (finally) got my first post-partum bleed almost 18 months after birth. I didn’t do anything in particular to encourage this, no weaning or changes in breast-feeding patterns.

This was met with excitement… and shock. I really didn’t expect it. We had decided a couple of months back that we would not forceably wean Cameron.. So this was unexpected.

We had convinced ourselves that we wouldn’t be trying to conceive (TTC) until next year, most likely. And we had really got used to the idea, and even grew to like it and see and the positives of a larger age gap and the extra time with just one child.

However, now that I may possibly be fertile, we have had to re-think it all. Initially, I quickly decided that we should try, knowing that it could take a while and/or I may not in fact be ovulating (which can happen initially with the return of fertility post-partum).

Mike, however, was not so keen. He was so used to the idea of waiting and so I shrugged it off for a few days and thought, yeah, we will wait. But then, when I was out one day, I drove past the hospital that I gave birth in and I started to really think about a sibling for Cameron.

That’s when I realised that I was ready, and talked more to Michael about it. & we decided to take it as it comes and try to conceive but without really focussing on it all. I will test with my ovulation prediction kits (OPKs) from fertility2family so that I know if and when I am ovulating… but otherwise I will just go on as normal.

It’s so different this time around though. I have my boy. I never expected to be so indifferent about falling pregnant. I never expected to be so strong about a future pregnancy, birth and beyond after my experiences with peri-natal mood disorders previously. But things feel so right… either way. I’m sure I’ll get more clucky as Cameron nears 2 but for now I’m content and just pleasantly surprised that my fertility may be returning.

Hopefully I can update soon saying that I got a positive OPK? Fingers crossed??

Montessori and Natural Parenting

As a mama who is passionate about natural parenting (‘attachment’ parenting, ‘extended’ breastfeeding, baby-wearing, co-sleeping, gentle discipline, etc) and increasingly incorporating Montessori (and Waldorf, more on that soon) methods into my home; I was stoked to see the article Montessori and Attachment Parenting at At Home with Montessori.

It is such a lovely post and clearly shows how both of the parenting philosophies can work together.

Another great article on the subject was written earlier this year at the Natural Parenting Network: Montessori and Natural Parenting.

I truly think that there is no one way to parent and that mothering changes and adapts with each child and with time. However, I think there should always be an emphasis on respecting the child.

My 17 Month Old

In a few days Cameron will be 17 months old. That sounds so big to me.

Speaking of him growing up; the invisible string that connects Cameron to me is lengthening. I’m watching as he’s gaining confidence and becoming more independent. He will walk out of the room without me or so much as a glance over his shoulder. He will play independently for longer periods of time.

It is lovely to watch him develop and be able to prepare food or clean/organise our home with two hands. Although it doesn’t always happen, at least it sometimes happens!

As always I’m still the one he turns and returns to… whether it is just-for-just, to share something with me or for comfort. I’m his base. I love that he’s learnt that he can rely on me so he feels safe enough to explore the world.

We are still breastfeeding/co-sleeping/wearing and loving it. I couldn’t help but laugh when I read back through my recent blogs and realised how I hadn’t done several of the things I said I would on my blog – i.e. encouraging weaning, vegetarianism and fitness. Sigh, that’s life.

His love of arts/crafts is still going strong. He woke up this morning and his first word was “dough”. I’ve just brought him one of these cases to store his play dough/clay ‘tools’. He loves getting out the dough and tools and putting them away almost as much as sculpting & playing with the dough.

I’ve always been into buying second hand. Most of our home items are thrifted (seriously - coffee table, tv unit, couch, dining table & chairs, fridge, toaster, book cases, some toys, our fish tanks, Cam’s cot, drawers, change table, some clothes and countless other bits and pieces). Op shops rock my socks, particularly for montessori-esque items like baskets, trays, frames and child-sized plates/bowls/cups/etc.

My latest op shop spree I was inspired by this article in Rhythm of the Home (which I adore & inspires me so much!) & decided to get some items to start our very own mud-pie-kitchen.

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Mike and I are so craving our own home (we rent) at the moment. He didn’t get a job that promised double the pay he is on if he could work in a more remote area and he would have to be away from us. He is now looking for something similar so that we can get ahead. I don’t like the idea but I know that it would greatly benefit us. It is hard as young parents to set yourselves up.

I’m on pinterest by the way and you can see my current obsession of natural playscapes and montessori & waldorf inspired rooms/activities/toys/materials/etc. Lots of fun!

Thank you for reading <3