Life As a Mama of Two

Life is settling back into a new norm. For a while there, I’ll admit, the days felt pretty much full with the basics (nappies/feeding/settling/etc).

I always thought Cameron was an easy baby (my sister used to laugh because he really wasn’t, I just didn’t know any better) but now I know what it’s really like to have an easy bub. Lucy is beautiful and very relaxed. I think it’s mostly temperament but also partly how my mothering has changed.

Cameron still woke for a feed at one year old, whereas Lucy (from 3 weeks, she is now 6.5 weeks) is already – usually – only waking for one feed between 11pm and 5:30-6:00am (when Cam gets up and Mike goes to work). I know, I’m so lucky!

She’s also a good sleeper in the day and is only fussy when it comes to wind and she does get whingy if you don’t feed her right.that.second. She doesn’t bring up air well and is a strong feeder who gulps air a fair bit. But that is literally the only thing she struggles with, she is a natural breastfeeder (attached herself right after birth!) and is gaining weight perfectly.

She also likes the car (Cam used to scream so loud and high pitched and made it so hard to go anywhere!) She will sleep through noise too and is happy to be passed around for cuddles. She is such a little sweetheart and I just can’t wait to get to know her.

Lulu is already growing so fast! She smiled for the first time a couple of days ago and she is starting to focus her eyes and attention so much more. She is vocalising more too. She is very strong and has amazing neck control (has since birth, just like Cameron) but Lucy is less keen on tummy time (Cam loved it, whereas Lucy is either indifferent or mildly annoyed by it! hah).

Cameron is 28 months old and he is really thriving as a big brother. Sure, we have our moments, but all-in-all he is doing great. He loves to help with Lucy and he is at that awesome age where he is gaining independence in all areas and is keen to learn about everything.

Prior to having Lucy I really feared how it could impact mine and Cameron’s bond and relationship. But really, nothing has changed. Lucy has fitted almost effortlessly into our lives and makes it even better, even more. I’m so thankful for my babies and the bond that I have with them both.

Cam is really growing within himself. I see his confidence and independence developing. He is eating better and has finished teething. He is very chatty and his pronounciation is slowly improving. He comes out with the funniest things and is very inquisitive. He amazes me with how great he is at so many things and how he really is just a little person with such a unique and formed personality.

He is still very keen on art, reading, all sorts of matching/sorting activities and practical life activities. We are still doing tot school activities. I need to start taking more pics of our tot school-esque adventures because I really enjoy it but haven’t been ‘recording’ it. I’m observing Cameron more just in the past few days and hoping to get back into the swing of things in ways that I know will benefit him.

One thing that I’m stumped with is toilet learning. Cameron has been ready to use the toilet in every way (other than emotionally, it seems) for a long time. But there has always been something delaying it (teething, sickness, me being heavily pregnant, a newborn, etc etc) but now I feel like I’ve missed it with timing and it’s going to be hard. Cam knows when he needs to go, will go to the toilet and sit on it but flat out refuses to actually go, despite many ‘tactics’. He loves to use toilet paper, flush and wash his hands but he tells me he would rather poo and wee in his nappy. He also doesn’t seem discouraged by wetting underwear or the floor, he just helps me clean it up and moves on. Any advice?

When I was struggling with mental health, I found it so hard to accept that children do what they do when and how they want to (with respect to eating, learning, social interaction, etc etc). It’s not that I didn’t realise that was the case, or wanted him to be perfect or anything.. but it was an inward battle where I didn’t want Cammy to find things hard. But now I see that you can provide all the opportunities; but it’s up to the child as to how they respond. & why would you want you child to find everything easy? What’s life without failures and mistakes?

Anyway, just a small update. I am hoping to type up my birth story (a video blog version can be found on my Youtube channel). Thank you for your lovely comments/emails/subscriptions. It means so much to me. Hopefully I will get more into blogging and vlogging now that things are settled and we are all doing well. Let me know if you have any questions! <3

Changes

Things are pretty different around here at the moment. This pregnancy has hit me hard. I’m exhausted almost from the moment I wake up and certainly nauseous from the second I wake.

I don’t have severe ‘morning sickness’ but I have nausea all day. Despite sleeping for a minimum of 8 hours (up to 11!) I am drained all the time. I think that is why my breastmilk dried up so quickly and painlessly – my body just couldn’t cope with both!

Pretty hat Cam

Cameron is doing SO well without breastfeeding. I really expected this to be harder than it was. It has been over a week since his last feed and he no longer asks for ‘boobah’.

Mike has also taken to putting Cam down to sleep so that he can get used to both of us. Last night it took only as long as it does for me. I bought Cammy a Thomas the Tank Engine pillow case & toddler pillow which he adores. It helps heaps with the transition of bedtime. His bedtime routine hasn’t changed any, which helps as well.

But things are different at the moment. I am not mothering how I usually do, I’m just too fatigued and blergh to keep up with my usual self. Cameron has adjusted to that too, sadly. In a way, though, I think it is good for him to learn to adjust to Mummy needing time and I have been encouraging him to independently play a lot more than usual.

It is hard not to feel guilty. So much has changed in Cammy’s little life. But he’s doing great. I wish I could bake more with him (smells, blergh!), chase him around and really full-on play like we used to, setting up of elaborate ‘educational’ activities, and what not.

My hilariously-large belly baby/bloat

On the very worst of days there is still good food, the usual routines, some reading, a dash of stimulating playful learning and free outdoors time when possible. I just need to adjust as well to all these changes as he has…

On Pregnancy

“I’m going to be a BIG BROTHER!”

On revealing ‘early’

Someone had the guts to tell me that revealing a pregnancy before 12 weeks is a ‘bad idea’ *rolls eyes* It isn’t a magical mark.. believe me, I’d know. I’d rather celebrate each of our little souls from the very beginning.

I understand those who feel differently but don’t understand why people (especially those who haven’t been there!) feel the need to tell me to feel otherwise!?

Oh and I’ll be having a baby shower too.. every child deserves a celebration!

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On symptoms

I’m feeling really great aside from nausea (yay for high potency ginger capsules) and tiredness (read: exhaustion). I am super emotional and cry at the drop of a hat.

I am one of those women who sports the pregnancy ‘glow’ and very early on. My sisters sister-in-law guessed that I was pregnant as soon as she saw me last week!

Oh, my other symptom, which is hilarious, is that I’m super bloated. I wore some maternity clothes today. Oh dear.

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On how we found out

We found out through my Dr as I didn’t think I was fertile & wanted to talk about TTC (we fell on my 1st postpartum cycle! we are so very blessed!) & it turned out that I was almost 6 weeks pregnant at the time.

So Mike found out by me calling him, in shock after seeing a line darker than a control line for the first time! It is a very different experience for us, not having been in TTC-mode, but Mike is over the moon.

 

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On gender

I know you are meant to say that you don’t care which gender and that you would be happy with a healthy baby and leave it at that. But truly, we have preferences. The preference just happens to change day-to-day… sometimes hourly (LOL).

I nicknamed this little one ‘Bud’ and so eventually they will be Rosebud or Buddy. Mike is pretty open that he would love a little girl this time around.

I’m going to be very honest now.

Initially, when we were thinking about TTC, I was so against the idea of having a girl.

I really feel like a great mother to boys, it’s just in my nature. My strengths really compliment raising boys and I just adore the mother-son relationship.

(I also have never been a girly-girl. All the pinks make my eyes sick )

However, since we are considering this being my final pregnancy (more on that another time – big shift from our original plans of 3-4 littlies), Mike has made it pretty clear that he would find it hard if we didn’t have a daughter. Which makes me more open to it.

I know that sounds silly but I am just being real here, I would happily be one of those Mums to a bunch of boys. But now, the idea of a Rosebud is sneaking into my mind more frequently and I think I’m sitting more in the middle now.

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On breastfeeding

My breastmilk is drying up.

Cameron hasn’t had a breastfeed since Sunday night. He hasn’t fed to sleep and he is doing soooo well. I’m extremely proud of him.

I sobbed. As in, ugly cry, wailing sobbed, when he easily curled up to me and slept without asking for boobah.

It has definitely been harder for me than him. He asked for “Mummy hand” and cuddled my arm and slept tonight… normal time… quicker than usual… no fuss. He is growing up.

Oh, how I will miss Cameron & my breastfeeding relationship.

I know that I’ve done well to feed him until this point (19.5 months). And I know that this is pretty great timing. My body needs this break (it’s practically forcing me!) and it’s good for Cameron to not associate this comfort stopping as a result of his little sibling.

It also gives us a great amount of time for him to adjust and start to sleep full-time in his own bed.

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Thank you for reading my ranting

Teething, Talking and Toileting

Oh Teething, how I hate you!

My poor mite is teething. It’s super-duper obvious and seems to be paired with a developmental leap this time so we are in the thick of a not-so-pleasant phase.

 Cam enjoying a calming camomile tea (known as the Flower Tea, to him)

Cameron is constantly knawing on his fingers, refusing some foods, demanding others, whinging in general and feeding more frequently.

Only up side to teething is that he sleeps better than usual during the day. He’s often down for 1.5-2 hours (which isn’t normal for him!)

Cammy has always managed to get 2-5 teeth at a time and I’m pretty sure that we are in for a few this time too. He is getting his fangs and boy are they red and swollen. He even got one cut through then go back up. Not fair!

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On the topic of ‘developmental leaps’, Cameron is amidst one now. He is getting increasingly frustrated with his inability to communicate himself well. He even tantrums at times and I hate having to tell him “I don’t understand what you want”.

In the past 12 weeks his vocabulary has tripled. At 16 months he frequently used 50 words in context and now, at 19 months he is using over 150 words and he is adding to that daily. Toddler development amazes me.

There is no wonder that he struggles sometimes when so much is going on in his growing body and mind. He is suddenly interested in numbers, letters (phonics), colours (he loves to point out anything red and blue), shapes (especially circle and diamond) and naming everything.

He looooves to read and will bring books to me, ask me to read them ‘again’, and ‘read’ to me too.

He has gone from simply expressing himself with one word to making simple sentences more often to describe things, and to ask & answer questions (e.g. “there is [the] car”, ”bee mug [with] flower tea?”)

He really loves to sing and will say “Rachel!” (he calls me both Rachel and Mummy, switching between the two) to get my attention to show me that he is dancing to the music while I’m driving. He sings along to Bruno Mars “Marry You” by singing the ‘no no no no no’ and ‘yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah’ bits. Too cute. Hah!

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We are transitioning Cameron into his own bed during day naps and it is going well. He carries one of my pillows to his ‘special bed’ and picks a book to read before having a quick feed before nap time.

He is definitely ready for toilet learning now. I have been reading online articles about “toileting the Montessori way” (google to find tonnes of great resources) and think that Cameron has been ready for a fair while now and I have been resisting.

Cameron can tell me when he is peeing/pooing and is keen to put his (Thomas the Tank Engine) padded seat on the toilet, to use a stool to sit on the toilet  himself, and imitate wiping, he likes to flush and will wash his hands (we have one of those automatic soap dispenser thingees… I was so annoyed when Mike begged for one but it’s handy for Cam!)

So really all that Cam is missing is a patient Mum who is willing to give him the opportunity to learn and make mistakes.

I have some organic bamboo training pants coming in the mail and I have cut up some old towels in halves for accidents and got a couple of toileting board books from the library. Wish us luck!

My Week

My week has consisted of getting a tooth pulled, getting dry socket due to said tooth, celebrating my nieces 2nd birthday, playdates, reading (parenting books, reference books and Cameron’s books over & over), adventures, Montessori playgroup, park dates, & lunch at my Mum’s where we got to talk to my Grandma and Grandad.

I also enrolled Cameron into the Montessori Children’s House that is associated with the Infant’s House that he goes to playgroup at. Eep! He could be eligible to start when he is 3 (2013) 2 days a week (short days, but still!) which would mean that next year is his last year at home full time with me!

I truly hope he does get in then though. It is perfect and I couldn’t choose a better environment with better people and resources for him to develop as a little person. I always get filled with a sense of something special and peaceful about the Montessori Children’s House.

Cameron has started to ‘read’ to me.

Our strawberries have started growing.

Our coriander is taking over!

Cameron’s fascination for transportation is only escalating. He is now hearing and spotting airplanes so enthusiastically that he hears and sees them well before anyone else. (note also, the new space for the outdoor play kitchen and the cats sunning themselves! hah!)

Cameron is obsessed with babies at the moment. He is so gentle, quiet and naturally caring that he just melts my heart! Here he is giving his baby ‘boobah’. Bless! (in the photo he is yelling “baaaybeeee”)

This pic is from earlier this evening… Cameron went to sleep in his own room in his special bed. We got my pillow, read his favourite (for the moment) story and then I asked him “do you want to go to sleep in your special bed?” and he nodded and said “yes, nigh nigh, boobah, please”.

Such a non-event and a nice start to the gentle transitioning into his own bed. Hopefully the rest of the journey is as painless.

I, however, feel lost. I’m ready to go to bed and I feel odd without him there. Wish me luck!

Weaning

Only a few months ago I couldn’t even contemplate not breastfeeding. And now… we are gently helping Cameron wean. I’m starting to refuse, distract and offer alternatives.

It’s still hard sometimes, for me, to lose that part of our relationship. But it’s what I believe I have to do if I want our family to grow. I’m still yet to have my first post-partum period and Cameron is almost 16 months old! I want my cycles back, I want to be fertile and my God I want a sibling for him!

The ache is back and it’s different and beautiful. I so desperately want to be pregnant again and to see our family expand. I want a baby brother or sister for Cameron (he now points to babies when we are out and about and says “bubby!” and is so gentle and sweet with new bubs!!!)

Cameron is now excited when he sees cows milk and asks for his sippy. He still asks for boobah several times a day but he’s content if I say “you want boobah? OK, later” or “would you like milk from the fridge in a sippy instead?” or “do you want a snack?” or even “not now”.

It’s easier than I thought it would be. & now Cameron will (sometimes) go to sleep without me (Mike putting him to sleep) and without boobah. Which is a big deal to us.

It’s such a relief and even though I loved our bedtime story, cuddles and boobah this newness is pretty lovely too. Cameron will say ”nigh nigh” to me and gives me several kisses before blowing kisses and going with his Daddy.

I’ve always been somewhat of an attachment parent – without setting out to be if that makes sense. We just went along with what felt right for us and before I knew it we were co-sleeping, baby-wearing, breastfeeding. & while I adore it all, I also want Cameron to learn to feel secure enough to do things without me and to learn different methods of comfort.

It’s hard being the only thing that he associates with comfort, sleep & security. Of course, I’ll always be there for comfort him and make him feel secure and confident… but this is a great step forwards.

One day this week he only had one feed. However, he’s gone back to more frequent nursing yesterday and today. We are hoping to get him down to two feeds a day max and helping him to sleep without nursing. It’ll be a process.

I go back and forth on how I feel about it. I’ve been surprised at how it has made me upset. I go from feeling relieved at the progress to protective of our nursing relationship. It is mostly difficult because I wouldn’t be encouraging weaning if it weren’t for the fertility factor. I would happily nurse until he was 2 years old. 

However, here is to more progress! Wish us luck!

Racheous <3

Toddlers

Parenting a toddler can make me feel like one of the people on Play School on TV who I tease. 

You repeat yourself a lot and spend a tonne of time talking a lot about silly things.

You are a lot more enthused by simple things and are infinitly more expressive in general.

On any given day you’ll hear me saying things like “are you doing a stinky poo?” or “close! but it’s ‘kitty’ not ‘titty’”.

& the amount of times I clap and say “yaaaay!’ is somewhat hilarious.

Or you will see me doing things like bending over with Cam in the Ergo on my back so that he can hold the escalator rail or patiently watching as he tries to press the green button on the eftpos machine for me.

You spend so much time narrating your day and ‘helping’.

But I’m watching more and more as Cameron is starting to communicate, comprehend and interact back and it’s so rewarding.

Prior to this year it kind of felt like I had an imaginary friend or something.

But now he points things out to me like the guide dog donation box = “dog” or he’ll pretend to ‘giddy up’ when he sees a horse (even though he also calls that a dog.

I frequently hear “wazzis?” (translation: what’s this?) and see him enthusiastically ask for food (he makes a hmmmm noise with rising tone if he wants something).

Speaking of food he’s LOVING food right now despite having two big teeth cutting through. He’s eating three meals plus snacks and enjoying water.

Our days seem so full now… with fuss-free meals and more activities that he enjoys as well as all the playdates and things we go to.

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More on all that after I sleep..

“No” & Other Developments

Well we are all finally over our illnesses and I’ve been feeling creative. I tried my hand at sewing with my Mum’s sewing machine and made this toddler apron (it has a sneaky pocket that’s hard to see which I’m pretty stoked about for a first attempt) for Cameron’s 1st birthday. I’m hoping to make a matching one for myself soon. I also sewed a toy bag for the nappy bag and have been experimenting with applique.

These past couple of weeks Cameron’s started demonstrating a pretty big burst of new skills. He’s now using whatever he can find to play peekaboo (as shown above with one of my shirts ). He puts the item up and waits for me to ask “Where’s Cameron? Where’s Cameron?” and pulls it down quickly with a huge grin. Sometimes he says “theeere” in baby-talk. It’s super adorable.

He’s also been getting pretty inquisitive (nice word for nosey). Here he is spying on the neighbours mowing their lawns. He’s often sticky-beaking around at strangers at the shops and taking interest in what children are doing.

Cam has also started saying some more words more frequently and in context. He now says Mum, Dad, bird, ball, boobah, there and… more recently (much to my dismay) “no” complete with a pointed finger and a stern facial expression. He signs Dad, bird, boobah and finished (only one he doesn’t verbalise or attempt to verbalise).

Cameron has started to test his boundaries with things like crawling to the rubbish bin (big no no) and looking at us as if to say “look what I’m doooinggg” and will mock tell us off before we get a chance to do so to him. Mum said he reminds her of me at his age and said “good luck”. Karma

Cameron dances now and still does little conductor hands. He makes noises along to the music (learnt that one from his cousin Jolee) and prefers different songs.

He stands without support for short periods of time quite often now but still isn’t attempting to walk much. He’s too fast and efficient at crawling really

Cam is a changed boy when it comes to solid foods! He’s consistently eating large lunches and huge dinners as well as some snacks and 5 big breastfeeds a day. I’m hoping this means a growth spurt as his weight gain is super duper slow-to-non-existant.

& to finish with the sweetest of sweetest things… Cameron now randomly kisses us. He started a month or more ago with kissing when prompted particularly upon going to sleep and waking up which was/is gorgeous. But now he’s started crawling up to Mike and I during play times, standing up and kissing us. He’s such a sweetheart. He’s a real snuggler too and very affectionate by nature. I’m very lucky to have such a cuddly cutie.

Baby Sign Language

I used to sign Makaton with a baby with Down Syndrome that I was a nanny to so I was quite used to a few of the signs and signing in general.

Once I had Cam, I got a baby sign language book from the library and googled resources to learn some of the basic signs. We have ended up using American sign language for a couple of signs as I’ve found they are easier. The most helpful thing for me was watching youtube videos for inspiration.

I went into it half-heartedly wondering whether it would really be right for us despite knowing the benefits (a simple google of ‘baby sign language benefits’ will give you a general idea if you’re unfamiliar). But the first time Cameron signed “Dad” and beamed when we noticed… I got pretty hooked.

We started with easy signs like “Dad” and “finished”. Once he started attempting signs and signing back we have been slowly introducing more. The key I think is to use a combination of helpful one’s for you (finished, more, wait, etc) as well as things that interest bub (ball, car, animals, etc) and to be consistent.

One of the things I love is that it gives me a chance to see what interests Cameron and to differentiate between similar-sounding words (as a lot of words early on are not pronounced in their entirety) like “bird” and “ball” (“bih” and “bah” are so similar but the signs for them are so different for example).

Granted, we’re just at the beginning but it’s proving to be a helpful thing for us and it’s not forced. It just means that I repeat some words and emphasise their meaning I suppose.

Cameron pointed to a bird in a book and signed ‘bird’ while saying “bir” this morning. I was so proud. He’s only ever done it to birds outside and once to a figurine. He did it without me saying it was a bird and it was clear. He’s so gorgeous.

Here he is ‘reading’

Cam painted a big picture with his cousins… they required two baths and I snapped this cuteness:

Lastly, we still bed share with Cam and he has been up a lot over the last couple of night with teething pain (I assume from all the drooling, chewing and general sookiness).

As a result I’ve implemented The Quiet Basket. The Quiet Basket is a basket full of quiet toys (blocks, a ball, a duck, a taggie) next to the bed (the rest of the room is super baby proofed) which Cam is plonked next to when he attempts to put his fingers up my nostrils/climb me/pull my hair/generally annoy me in an attempt to be entertained.

I simply change him and breastfeed him then talk to him and watch him as I rest. Yep, I’m lazy… but I bet part of you is thinking “that’s kinda clever”. It’s proving to be great as I can interact with him while I rest during his early awake period (from around 5:30 to 7). Although, he did decide this morning to tip all the toys out and play with the basket instead:

Cute right? Y/Y?

Spare a click? <3

Cameron Updatermondo

Cam has started commando crawling around (pulling along with his arms and pushing with his feet but keeps belly on the floor) HEAPS more. I have to watch him at all times!

He has also started standing on his tippy toes while on all fours and he loves to push himself backwards from all fours and sit himself up (which means I have to watch what is on our coffee table/bookcases/etc) which is cute and exciting.

He’s going through a bit of seperation anxiety/clingyness and has begun to not like me leaving his sight. He has gone back to very rarely sleeping without my presence. He’s better in the car though now (has always HATED it) so there’s a plus! He reaches up to me and pulling the sulky face.

He’s getting much more interactive with toys now and seems to favour some of them and like trying to work things out. He’s getting more vocal and making more sounds. He’s giggling a lot more often and developing a little sense of humour (certain voices I make are toooo funny to him).

Cameron is almost 7 months old (at the end of this month) and I’m left feeling bewildered at how fast he’s growing now. I can feel his third tooth coming through (a big bump) and his hair (which is now blonde) is all filling through.

He’s always so smiley and loves when I read with him. He really enjoys the baby rhyme time classes that we go to and we like going swimming (photos to come!). He does incy wincy spider fingers, loves attempting to clap and waves randomly.

Hilariously, he’s found a new ‘friend’ which is the sensor in the corner of the ceiling of our room. It blinks red when it senses movement and he smiles at it and waits for it to blink off before moving and making it blink on again and the smiling and games ensue. Too cute!

He’s completely confident sitting up alone now and barely ever loses balance. He can look behind himself and hold objects in his hands while sitting. He loves getting items out of boxes – he could do that all day! LOL

His favourite nursery rhymes are If You’re Happy & You Know It, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and he LOVES The Grand Old Duke Of York.

Oh! & he hi 5′s now… which pretty much means he is the coolest baby EVER. Except that it involves me saying hi 5?, him putting his hand up and me hi 5ing him while he laughs.

He also particularly enjoys us clapping his feet and me saying (in an odd voice) “oh no, it’s up my nose!” (as he puts his finger up my nose while he’s breastfeeding.

Anyway… just random rambling of what my sweetheart is up to. Tomorrow we are making some homemade edible finger paint and letting Cam loose with a canvas. Stay tuned for pics!