Still Here

I keep meaning to post (I have several posts in draft form waiting… waiting) but life keeps getting in the way. More important things keep distracting me.

Like this little guy. Note the homemade shortbread he is eating… the recipe needs perfecting.

Our week thus far has included early morning toddler-paced walks around the lake with puppy, fish, duck, spider & bird spotting featuring heavily. Cameron loves to hold my hand and take me to see things like interesting sticks and “wow-ar”‘s (translation: flower).

We started the week with a mama meet up and hosted our fortnightly Toddler Art Group on Tuesday.

Cammy is 18 months old in a couple of days. One and a half years!

He is growing so much character lately & everyday, seemingly mundane things feel that much more important now.

As a mother, you get to re-experience the world through the eyes of a toddler. Simple things are facinating.

Cameron breathes new life into my world daily. He makes me experience life in the now. To be present, for him, is a great gift. To not be plugged into something, or distracted.

Now, more than ever, I’m learning to be more mindful… to be purposeful and to choose carefully what we do, how we do it, what I say & how I say it.

While parenting Cameron it has become blearingly clear that everything he experiences, sees, hears, touches, etc etc is literally shaping him.

Reminders of this are everyday events as he:
- imitates how we laugh and talk on the phone, including pacing like I tend to;
- responds to spilt milk with a simple “oh no… tissue?” rather than being upset;
- says “oh sugar” when he trips over in the yard.

The list is endless. But I take particular notice of the things that I have helped shape in him already, and how they could have been different.

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Cameron is obsessed with transport. Which is perfectly timed with the theme at Montessori next term. He gets me to read his DK Things That Go book countless times a day. He even mimics the sounds of the title, attempts to say helicopter and excitedly ‘counts’ (wah, two, eee) the red trucks before I get a chance to.

He was super excited to see a cement mixer the other day on our walk and an ambulance with the sirens blaring. He is so sweet though and said “oh no” because he knows that they ‘help people that are hurt’. Bless!

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Cameron has recently learnt the magic of the word “please”. The words “what do you say?” elicit a shy grin that hold the knowledge that he will most likely get what he wants if he utters a simple word.

The hard thing is when he is so polite, sweet and innocent “eeze?” and I say he can’t have whatever it is. For example, this morning he asked “Daddy? eeze?” pointing to the door. My sweetheart!

He has said thank you (“tan-too”) for a fair while now but he is much more consistent with it lately. He also says bless you when someone he knows well sneezes (“beh-doo”).

Another regular is Cammy calling someone silly. It started with “siyee sar-yah” (translation: silly Charlotte) and soon he was giggling when we did something silly or tickled him saying “siyee Daddy” and “siyee way-shoo” (yep, still calling me Rachel most of the time!)

Oh, he is such a gorgeous boy!

Thanks for reading <3

A Long Weekend and Toddler Art Group

We had a long weekend (courtesy of the Queen’s birthday holiday) last weekend; which we took full advantage of and had one of those lovely, somewhat rare, productive, relaxing weekends where we truly got to spend quality time together & get projects done without feeling busy, rushed or overwhelmed.

Saturday was reserved for haircuts and relaxing at home getting chores done. Sunday we spent out and about where we went to Mike’s parents place (a gorgeous big home on acreage with chooks, a dog, guinea pigs and pretty wild Australian birds (and the odd possum, koala, deer or goanna – although Cam & I are yet to see these).

Cameron is very comfortable with Mike’s family & was happy to spend time inside due to rain and chilly weather. He plays very well independently at the moment and enjoyed being doted on. He is the first grandchild of Mike’s parents and they adore him. We had a yummy lunch before going to a birthday afternoon tea for a sweet friend of mine who is the Mama to one of Cammy’s little friends.

Monday was particularly lovely where Mike and I spent the day at home doing things with Cameron. I baked bread, we started a herb pot, Mike took Cameron for a ride in his trike around the neighbourhood, Mike finished the custom chalkboard wooden lid for Cameron’s sandpit and Cameron and I did some painting.

On Tuesday we had our Toddler Art Playgroup where we took things outside for messy fun! We made goop (cornflour & water mixture with food colouring), shaving foam paint and painted with acrylic paints and sand.

It went really well despite some tears and hesitation at first with the new materials! Cameron walked through the paint with his socks on just before the playmates arrived and walked it through my tiles! Charli (our kitten) ran under the goop and got it on her forehead. It was messy and fun. Cam’s sandpit, outdoor toys and mudpie kitchen got a work out too.

Cameron’s practical life cabinet is well and truly up and running and he so loves it. It has even boosted his vocabulary as he has started asking (“peeze”) for different things before or as he gets them (bowl, juice, apple, banana, orange, tissue and water) because he has all of these things available to him now and is excited about the freedom he has.

He is very careful and deliberate though and takes care with his actions. He will put things away as I ask. He is yet to learn how to sweep effectively, or use the dustpan and brush well, or use a spray bottle by himself – but he tries all three.

At 17.5 months, he can (with help) spiral & core an apple on the contraption, pour freshly squeezed orange juice from a small jug to his little cup, spoon any wet or dry food into a bowl somewhat successfully, feed himself, use a fork, get a glass of water from the dispenser (still has trouble sometimes, and still is keen on pushing the lever and allowing water to go on the floor occassionally), sponge up spills, wipe tables with paper towel and his face with a tissue or wipe.

Here is his new shelf set up in his playroom. He has puzzles and stackers, his dough & tools & a new peg activity. He has mastered the four shape puzzle and his stacker some time ago but still loves to repeat the activities.

Hope you enjoyed the update! Let me know what you think

My 17 Month Old

In a few days Cameron will be 17 months old. That sounds so big to me.

Speaking of him growing up; the invisible string that connects Cameron to me is lengthening. I’m watching as he’s gaining confidence and becoming more independent. He will walk out of the room without me or so much as a glance over his shoulder. He will play independently for longer periods of time.

It is lovely to watch him develop and be able to prepare food or clean/organise our home with two hands. Although it doesn’t always happen, at least it sometimes happens!

As always I’m still the one he turns and returns to… whether it is just-for-just, to share something with me or for comfort. I’m his base. I love that he’s learnt that he can rely on me so he feels safe enough to explore the world.

We are still breastfeeding/co-sleeping/wearing and loving it. I couldn’t help but laugh when I read back through my recent blogs and realised how I hadn’t done several of the things I said I would on my blog – i.e. encouraging weaning, vegetarianism and fitness. Sigh, that’s life.

His love of arts/crafts is still going strong. He woke up this morning and his first word was “dough”. I’ve just brought him one of these cases to store his play dough/clay ‘tools’. He loves getting out the dough and tools and putting them away almost as much as sculpting & playing with the dough.

I’ve always been into buying second hand. Most of our home items are thrifted (seriously - coffee table, tv unit, couch, dining table & chairs, fridge, toaster, book cases, some toys, our fish tanks, Cam’s cot, drawers, change table, some clothes and countless other bits and pieces). Op shops rock my socks, particularly for montessori-esque items like baskets, trays, frames and child-sized plates/bowls/cups/etc.

My latest op shop spree I was inspired by this article in Rhythm of the Home (which I adore & inspires me so much!) & decided to get some items to start our very own mud-pie-kitchen.

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Mike and I are so craving our own home (we rent) at the moment. He didn’t get a job that promised double the pay he is on if he could work in a more remote area and he would have to be away from us. He is now looking for something similar so that we can get ahead. I don’t like the idea but I know that it would greatly benefit us. It is hard as young parents to set yourselves up.

I’m on pinterest by the way and you can see my current obsession of natural playscapes and montessori & waldorf inspired rooms/activities/toys/materials/etc. Lots of fun!

Thank you for reading <3

Weaning

Only a few months ago I couldn’t even contemplate not breastfeeding. And now… we are gently helping Cameron wean. I’m starting to refuse, distract and offer alternatives.

It’s still hard sometimes, for me, to lose that part of our relationship. But it’s what I believe I have to do if I want our family to grow. I’m still yet to have my first post-partum period and Cameron is almost 16 months old! I want my cycles back, I want to be fertile and my God I want a sibling for him!

The ache is back and it’s different and beautiful. I so desperately want to be pregnant again and to see our family expand. I want a baby brother or sister for Cameron (he now points to babies when we are out and about and says “bubby!” and is so gentle and sweet with new bubs!!!)

Cameron is now excited when he sees cows milk and asks for his sippy. He still asks for boobah several times a day but he’s content if I say “you want boobah? OK, later” or “would you like milk from the fridge in a sippy instead?” or “do you want a snack?” or even “not now”.

It’s easier than I thought it would be. & now Cameron will (sometimes) go to sleep without me (Mike putting him to sleep) and without boobah. Which is a big deal to us.

It’s such a relief and even though I loved our bedtime story, cuddles and boobah this newness is pretty lovely too. Cameron will say ”nigh nigh” to me and gives me several kisses before blowing kisses and going with his Daddy.

I’ve always been somewhat of an attachment parent – without setting out to be if that makes sense. We just went along with what felt right for us and before I knew it we were co-sleeping, baby-wearing, breastfeeding. & while I adore it all, I also want Cameron to learn to feel secure enough to do things without me and to learn different methods of comfort.

It’s hard being the only thing that he associates with comfort, sleep & security. Of course, I’ll always be there for comfort him and make him feel secure and confident… but this is a great step forwards.

One day this week he only had one feed. However, he’s gone back to more frequent nursing yesterday and today. We are hoping to get him down to two feeds a day max and helping him to sleep without nursing. It’ll be a process.

I go back and forth on how I feel about it. I’ve been surprised at how it has made me upset. I go from feeling relieved at the progress to protective of our nursing relationship. It is mostly difficult because I wouldn’t be encouraging weaning if it weren’t for the fertility factor. I would happily nurse until he was 2 years old. 

However, here is to more progress! Wish us luck!

Racheous <3

Lazy Mum?

This birthday was all about me. Time for me. Pampering me. Improving me. Family & friends have brought me pampering gifts, books & vouchers and Michael got me a gym membership.

I now have a medium-sized handbag instead of lugging around a nappy bag. Now that Cam is older all I need is 2 nappies, wipes, a spare outfit, sippy, snacks & sunscreen.

But I have done something I never thought I would do. Not technically a birthday present but still something for me. & oh I know I’ll get judgement and flaming but I’m happy.

I have got a cleaner.

Yes, I, a stay at home Mum with no other commitments, have hired a cleaner for my home once a fornight.

I never considered it as an option. Then I started to look around at many of my mummy friends and realised that we all have to do something to help ourselves.

Some get their hair or nails or waxing done frequently, some have parents who babysit regularly, some have little one’s in care for a few hours, and the list goes on…

I don’t think that as SAHMs we are necessary entitled to anything. & I certainly DO have the time to clean. But it’s a pain in the ass doing larger cleaning jobs (bathrooms, floors, etc) with a toddler who has short day naps and isn’t that keen on Mummy paying attention to much aside from him.

During Cameron’s waking hours I of course clean. You can’t not clean with a baby/toddler/child. There are clothes to wash, dishes, rubbish to put out, as well as general cleaning of benches/highchairs/spills/crafts/what not. But when faced with doing something with Cameron or mopping – guess what wins?

A friend of mine said “When Cammy and subsequent bubbies are older, you will look back and be grateful you spent all the time you could with them instead of bothering with cleaning – you will never look back and wish you’d done more vacuuming!” which I added to the little things that I’ll remember when I feel guilty about this decision!

I have very luckily found a local mum who is super affordable which of course helps.

Am I a lazy Mum? No, I don’t think so. A lazy cleaner? Yeah, most likely. But I’m okay with that. I’m a SAHM. A SAHM = A stay-at-home-mum, not a stay-at-home-maid.

If you are not impressed by my not-so-domesticity… BEHOLD. I baked spiced apple & sultana mini muffins today. & I used Two Little Spoons recipe for Cheeseymite Scrolls to whip up 20 of these:

Although, it’s probably not all that impressive if I add that I called my Mum excitedly to tell her I was baking… clearly a rarity!

Oh, and I used this tutorial to make a lovely window star which will look beautiful when it is sunny. I have since fixed up the blue point to lay behind the red. Woops.

I’ll hopefully update at the end of the week (after our first visit from the cleaner!) and update

Also, someone asked me what exactly I don’t agree with/like about the Montessori method so I’m going to do a blog post expanding on my ever-adapting parenting ideals.

Racheous xox

Currently…

Currently… adoring the bond between my child and fur-child.

Currently… appreciating our outdoor time in this autumn weather.

Currently… reading.

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I’m also currently excited that Cameron is starting at a Montessori Playgroup next term. Although it is sad that we will no longer be going to baby rhyme time at the library (he’s outgrown it) or kindergym (cannot afford the playgroup and kindergym).

I find I’m naturally drawn to alternative parenting and education styles. I’m always open to different ideas and happily research things that interest me. The Montessori method is one of the styles that appeals to me. I don’t agree with all that Maria Montessori theorised but I love the environment and I think the hands-on learning suits Cameron.

Really, I’m pretty keen on anything that is child-focussed (attachment parenting, waldorf, etc), gentle, mindful and suits my thoughts that babies/toddlers/children are people too. However, I think that as with everything in life, parenting and/or teaching styles should be individualised and that there is no one-size-fits-all. I’m already finding my roots as an eclectic mama.

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Currently… appreciating the simple things and feeling blessed.

Cameron’s Favourites

I just thought I would share Cameron’s favourite toys/activities/what not at this point (my 15 month old!!) These items are used pretty much daily at the moment and I recommend every one of them for a young toddler

Beeswax Crayons – We have these Micador ones (got mine at Borders)

 

Toddler broom – we got ours from K & K Kreative Toys

“Doug” Cam’s doll – from Seedlings (available at Big W)

Rainbow People – from Mama May I on Etsy
(part of Cameron’s quiet basket in the mornings)

Cooking Pot by Leapfrog

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I’m sick… what a way to spend the weekend. The weekends a precious… family time and I soooo look forward to them. But yesterday (Saturday), I spent the day trying not to be sick, feeling nauseous and with a killer headache. Today I have only just got out of bed at 10 AM.

I would so rather be spending my time with my husband and son, I swear. This plain sucks.

I have a blog post in my drafts about our trip to the museum with my sister and niece so stay tuned.

It is my birthday tomorrow so I’ll update after that.

Hope your weekend is full of laughter and sweet moments!

Illness & New Rhythm

Little Cammy is sick. He had conjunctivitis (now cleared, thank you Chlorsig Drops!) and a runny nose which quickly progressed to a high temp & cough. He was/is just his normal self, soldiering on none the wiser.

Doctor said his ears and chest are clear so he’s just having panadol, fess nasal spray, vaporiser, feeding more and resting.

Surprisingly it’s actually easier to take care of Cam when he’s sick. He sleeps more, just wants quiet simple activities (stories, cuddles, puzzles, etc) and is calm. Sounds bad but I was glad to have some time to clean a bit.

I have found lately that I have been instinctively withdrawing from activities outside the home with Cammy and focussing on the home. I decided today to make a concerted effort to create a rhythm to our daily/weekly life and make things more predictable… Simplify. Connect. Enrich.

I love the hum of our home life. I want to slow down and enjoy life more and in turn allow Cameron to do so too.

It’s not that I don’t love all the activities that we do outside the home but looking at it now I realise that less can sometimes be more. All the planning, driving, shopping, rhyme time, kindergym, swimming, and playgroups are soaking up some precious time and often making life stressful.

That’s not to say that we won’t be going out or so on but that I’m simplifying it right down and making these outings part of a routine of sorts. For example, we may go to the park or a play-date but make sure we are home in time for lunch.

Our morning routine is almost always rushed and our bedtime rituals have been getting pretty slack lately. I certainly don’t want a strict schedule and nothing is set in stone but I would like some predictability and to simplify.

Lately Cam is getting involved in household chores in a productive way. He’s loving mimicking lately and it’s just adorable. I only have to show him something once or twice and he’s keen to ‘help’.

From wiping up a mess to taking clothes to the laundry. He’ll help me dress him and wants to feed our pets himself. He follows me around with his little broom as I sweep and wants his own cooking utencils when I’m preparing food. He is very keen to feed himself using utencils now too which means big messes but the cleaning up is pretty fun for him too!

Today he had a ball (no pun intended) with some ping pong balls and cardboard toilet rolls. Who said toys are expensive??

Must go sleep. I have been trawling Etsy and didn’t realise the time!!

Thank you for reading <3

Creativity

Today I had a moment where Cameron called me Mum and was being his usual adorable self and I got tear-filled eyes and was filled with awe and felt so damn thankful that this precious little boy is my son.

I’m an amber-teething-necklace convert. I was a skeptic but brought one at a local market and I swear it has helped with the inflammation and pain because Cameron is sleeping and eating better. I got mine from Bambeados (see link for more info as to how they work).

nom, sushi

Last week at kindergym I asked one of the Mums (a Mum of five!) whether you ever ‘get over’ your children’s accomplishments. I swear, every new word or achievement of Cam’s is so.damn.exciting. She said “No way, my 17 year old makes his bed without me asking and I get so excited & am proud!”. So funny, but I think she’s right. I think I’ll forever be amazed by this little guy.

His latest word (said first this morning, much to my amazement) is “drawing”. It sounds like “door-eeee” coming from him but is accompanied by lots of pointing to crayons/craft box/paper. I wasn’t sure what he was saying at first but when I asked “do you want to do a drawing?” it was met with an enthusiastic grin and bouncing up and down on the spot. So cute.

Today we made some playdough together.

There is something magical to me about playdough. The smell takes me back to my childhood and that innocent creativity and play.

I love anything that Cameron can get involved with and I love finding new ways to play with him and help him to explore.

Cammy adding green to the dough

I used this recipe where you don’t have to cook the playdough because you use boiling water. It ended up great and I divided the mixture into 4 colours.

Cameron is really starting to enjoy playing with playdough. He loves to try and roll it out with a rolling pin and put cookie cutters and utencils into it. He asks me to roll bits into a ball for him to play with and we sing songs.

I want to make some more and use some essential oils so we can make it even more of a sensory activity.

Playdough is a great activity for young toddlers who (like Cam) aren’t keen on putting things in their mouths anymore (so glad that stage is over!) Without trying you are helping fine motor skills. Check the pincer grip action in this pic

 

I love how toddlers enjoy mimicking. Cameron loves to brush his hair and teeth (well, try to). He has perfected scrubbing himself with Michael’s loofah in the shower and tries to add more soap. His first big tantrum was when he was trying to use my tweezers like me and pluck his eyebrows and I took them off him. He loves to wipe things down and attempt to clean his face.

I have uploaded new video of Cameron and I over at my Racheous Youtube Channel

Thank you for reading and commenting and I really appreciate the votes for my blog in the Top Mommy Blogs (link top right)! <3

Survivor

The past week I have found myself stalked by the familiar fog of anxiety and depression. It was lingering around me. The niggling negativity. The numbness. The fear.

But it doesn’t realise how strong I am now.

Although I am medicated for Generalised Anxiety Disorder (including anxiety attacks and Post-partum Depression which followed), I no longer see a psychologist and I manage with lifestyle.. I see myself as a survivor and has someone who has recovered.

I know I will probably have more times like these that remind me of The Darker Times but I hope with my next babies I can enjoy the newborn stage and beyond.

A great easy to understand list of The Symptoms of Postpartum Depression & Anxiety (In Plain Mama English) can be found HERE. I am so proud of how far I have come since a time where I pretty much experienced EVERYTHING on that list.

It is hard, I think, from an outsiders perspective, to comprehend mental illness in many circumstances. People can, without realising or saying anything, have a Glint of Judgment (click for great blog post that explains how it feels!). So many people have more hardships in life.

There are things about my experiences with peri-natal mood disorders that I haven’t shared… things I’m not sure how to express and things I have only remembered as time has gone on.

But, each time I see people finding my blog by searching things like “pnd and anxiety attacks”, ”will i lose my baby if i have anxiety” (and the fact that “postpartum insomnia” & “postpartum anxiety” are the #3 and #5 searched terms that lead people to my blog), I remember that it’s important to keep talking and to keep inspiring mamas and letting them know that this is treatable, temporary and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.