10 Weeks, 6 Days

I realised a this week that I am as pregnant as Ollie would’ve been old. My LMP was around his due date. It’s bittersweet and it sparked a long conversation between hubby and I about how much we miss him and what we loved about our last pregnancy.

I have been sick this week. Not just on/off nausea sick but I woke up one day with a sore throat, sore ears, headache, runny nose and crampy belly. I was scared it was swine flu (drama queen!)

I was taking panadol, drinking water by the bucket load, using a vaporiser at night and vicks. I felt awful for a while there but I’m mostly over the cold now.

I have started getting nausea during the night! As in – I wake up feeling sick, have to get up to go to the toilet and have some food.. then can’t get back to sleep! Over the weekend was the worst! Last night I didn’t have to get food but had to go to the toilet three times.. Getting me ready for this little one I think!!!

In other news, Mike was outed by his Mum the other night! They’ve been onto us for a couple of weeks. Then Mike started talking about money and his Mum said “Rachel is pregnant again isn’t she?” and Mike looked away, said “noooo” with a huge smirk. Couldn’t help himself.

His Mum and sister were happy. So now everyone knows who is close to us. I am glad it’s out of the way now and just pray that our next scan is alright.

Mike is feeling much more at ease about it all and won’t stop cuddling me and telling me how happy he is. If I’m honest, it scares me. I’m scared that I’ll have to see that happiness go away and I couldn’t deal with that. He hasn’t seen our baby yet.

Not long until my scan (next Tuesday). Hopefully my symptoms will keep strong and keep reassuring me.

Mike had his first dream about Snugglems! Bubs was a boy and we went to the library with him in the pram. How adorable!

A couple of nights ago (amidst the insomnia/peeing/eating/nausea) I had a dream that my sisters baby was here and older and I had my little newborn (was a girl in this dream). It was so real that when I woke up I freaked out and wondered where my baby went! (I even mumbled “Is she in the office? Why is she in the office?”) I had to convince myself that my baby was a foetus and was safe inside me. LOL!

Less than a week until my 12 week scan (I’ll be 11 weeks, 5 days) which hubby is coming to. Anxiety has already begun. I had an awful thought… if we lose this baby… Christmas would never be the same again (I’m due Christmas Eve)

I hate thinking about it but I’d be lying if I said I don’t think about it every day. If I don’t feel nauseous, or my breasts feel less tender or I can manage a normal meal – I start worrying. But it all comes in waves and generally in the evening/at night all my symptoms are worse.

I’m still yet to gain any weight and overall have lost 2 kilos. My skin is shocking at the moment. I usually have acne but it’s really constant and I get more now.

I have new photos of my little bump. I couldn’t fit into a singlet last night and it made for an effective (and funny) photo.. but I have no way of getting it on to a computer at the moment.

11 weeks tomorrow! I’ll update after the scan… 6 days!

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