As I sit here with a 34 week bubby stretching and rolling in my belly; I realise that life won’t always be like this. I can barely remember what it feels like to not be pregnant or to not know what it feels like to have my son moving within me. I am so thankful for every punch, every stretch, every roll, every kick… I love patting his bum as he stretches his back & I love feeling his all-too-frequent hiccups jumping in my belly.
This is my life now. I get to feel this EVERY DAY. I’m beyond lucky. I get to be part of God making another human being. We’re a little team, my son and I. When I’m awake at 2 AM (as I often am) and I have reflux, the urge to pee, nausea and extreme hunger all at once; I feel him roll over and realise that I’m not alone. I’m never alone. It is the most beautiful thing. I have tears rolling down my cheeks just thinking about it.
But someday… in the next 40 or so days – this will come to an end and I will get to be part of something even more magical. Even more overwhelmingly beautiful… I’ll get to hold my son in my arms. I’ll get to stare into his eyes as he stares at me and recognises my voice. I’ll get to rock him to sleep, feed him, hold his tiny hand and see his Daddy hold him.
& that just… well that just makes me feel like the world is too good.
But I’m going to miss being pregnant. I know it already. I love being pregnant. Never before have I felt so womanly. Never before have I felt so fiercely protective (though I’m sure this will increase!)
I know that my world will shift and mould into something foreign and brilliant. I can’t wait to smell him & kiss his chubby thighs and feel him cuddle up to my neck as he sleeps. I really cannot wait to see my amazing husband with his little boy.
But for now I’ll relish in the sweet boy moving in my belly… contorting it into weird and wonderful shapes. Too beautiful…