Today something happened that I didn’t expect. I woke up this morning (on Mother’s Day) and felt overwhelmed. I did not know how to feel about this very monumental day.
For some it may not be that bigger of a deal but for the past few years I’ve been consumed with the very concept of being a mother… of creating a family with the man I love.
& now… I’m here. I can hold my son… kiss him… smell him… feel his little hand wrapped around my finger and watch him grin at me. Although I knew this logically… in a real, raw, deep-down way I hadn’t really got it.
Until I realised that this is the first Mother’s Day in a couple of years where I haven’t avoided the shopping centres… or felt that awful sinking feeling when I saw a pregnant woman… or felt sadness.
I’m on that other side now… the side where you get gifts and messages from other Mums… & that was surprisingly confronting. Like “Holy shit… I’m a Mother”. I did not expect that.
Anyway… I am a mother… I am Oliver’s mother and Cameron’s mother.
I love being a Mum.
I love being the one who can stop the tears.
I love that singing silly songs is a vital part of my day.
I love learning more and more about my son.
I love that I am the one who never forgets anything in the nappy bag.
I love knowing that Cameron will forever know that he was and is wanted.
I love that I have such an abundance of things to be grateful for.
I love thinking about the future.