So I’ve been asked how things have changed since Cameron was born. That’s a pretty complex question. But in short – what has changed? EVERYTHING!
Mine and Michael’s relationship has only got stronger and more lovely. I mean that in the most real way I can portray. Our marriage is more beautiful than ever. We still do and say stupid things and have fun. We’re still learning how to juggle it all. We still have arguments.
But now there are more texts that say “how are my two favourite people”, more phone calls with “guess what he did”‘s, more “far out I missed you”‘s and more photo messages featuring a grinning bubba.
My Sense of Self:
Before Cameron I didn’t really know who I was. I felt disjointed and like I needed to explain myself and behave a certain way. Even in the early weeks of his life this continued but now I have a clarity that he has taught me.
More recently I feel that I know who I am in a work-in-progress kind of way and I like who I am. I like my quirks and even my flaws and I think it comes from realising what I am capable of through my journey to becoming a Mumma.
I’m still learning what that means and where I am heading but for now I have a simplistic contentment and feel like I fit in my skin well and that I am someone who can be proud of who/what/where I am today.
I like to call it Rachel 2.0… It is a medly of large thick red/purple stretch marks and extra flab. But it is also a creator of life, maker of milk and provider of comfort.
My house now feels like a home. I really love this house. I’ve began to appreciate the notion of Organised Chaos… Like messily folded clothing (but folded none-the-less) and neatly organised boxes that are filled with unorganised bits and pieces.
We now have a perfectly functional bed frame stored in our spare room because I prefer the mattress on the floor with Cameron sharing the bed with us (if he rolls out… there isn’t so far to fall – oh that sounds awful!)
My Day-to-Day Life:
My life is now filled with nappy changes, drool, puke, much more washing, stress, concern, crying (his and mine), tiredness, and generally more chaos and questions.
Before he blessed my life I feel like I didn’t have a purpose. I love that my life is also filled with kosses, giggles, smiles, singing silly songs, splishy splashy bath times, bubba massage, boobah, cuddles, book time, new friends, swimming lessons, dancing, and watching him blossom into the beautiful boy that he is.