I read a really great quote about depression today. A woman suffering from postpartum depression said that [depression] feels like it is raining – even when the sun is shining.
Although over-simplified and somewhat cliche (not to mention… it kinda downplays the utter shitty-ness of it) it hit a chord with me. It truly can feel like this:
Depression is not something you choose. Who would? Depression is not self-pity or of weakness. It is an illness. A common illness. It is treatable but it is a process.
I can say, that (for now… hopefully forever) that cloud has left me. But I still have my moments and it has only just left. Like… I can still see it a few metres away from me and I’m still wet from it’s rain.
Generalised anxiety disorder on the other hand doesn’t have a picture that sums it up in any way shape or form. It’s awkward.
It feels like you are living in a different world to everyone else… everyone else can do what you want to do with relative ease (even you could in the past!) and you’re stuck attempting to fake it and analysing each move along the way. I think the main difference between someone with clinical anxiety and the ‘average’ person is that we take that whole idea too far (the analysing).
Anyway, I know I’ll dry off and go outside and enjoy the sunshine… because even through the cloud I can see the sunshine and enjoy it. I am strong.