Around two years ago Mike and I walked hand-in-hand into my first ever pregnancy scan. With an intense mixture of excitement and nerves we went into the room to see our first little baby.
Little did we know that it would be the first and last time that we would see our Oliver with his tiny heart pumping away while he wriggled in my belly. That devine rhythmic beat making that line surge up and down and filling our minds with more hopes and dreams than we could express.
I remember that full feeling I got when I saw him. That sweet, sweet blossoming feeling. That can’t-contain-my-happiness feeling. I remember the permanent grins imprinted on our naive faces.
Oh how I clutched onto those scan pictures. Tangible proof of this beautiful life we had created. We brought more baby items and I excitedly drew up more ideas for his nursery. We called Oliver’s grandparents and we told them every little detail in quick succession.
“‘Lil Brownie is measuring at 8 weeks and the heartbeat is 150 beats per minute. He was wiggling about and was so cute!”
(Thank you so much again Carly for finding me and taking this beautiful picture for our boy)
I like remembering this day.
I wish we knew you Ollie. I wish your little brother could have known you. I wish it were different. I hope you feel how often we think of you and hear how we wonder aloud how you would have looked/acted/been with Cameron.
We miss you. Today, and every day.
You left this earth knowing you were loved and with your Mumma… as close as two people can be. We are so priveleged that you chose us baby.