Tomorrow is cycle day (CD) 10. Yes, I (finally) got my first post-partum bleed almost 18 months after birth. I didn’t do anything in particular to encourage this, no weaning or changes in breast-feeding patterns.
This was met with excitement… and shock. I really didn’t expect it. We had decided a couple of months back that we would not forceably wean Cameron.. So this was unexpected.
We had convinced ourselves that we wouldn’t be trying to conceive (TTC) until next year, most likely. And we had really got used to the idea, and even grew to like it and see and the positives of a larger age gap and the extra time with just one child.
However, now that I may possibly be fertile, we have had to re-think it all. Initially, I quickly decided that we should try, knowing that it could take a while and/or I may not in fact be ovulating (which can happen initially with the return of fertility post-partum).
Mike, however, was not so keen. He was so used to the idea of waiting and so I shrugged it off for a few days and thought, yeah, we will wait. But then, when I was out one day, I drove past the hospital that I gave birth in and I started to really think about a sibling for Cameron.
That’s when I realised that I was ready, and talked more to Michael about it. & we decided to take it as it comes and try to conceive but without really focussing on it all. I will test with my ovulation prediction kits (OPKs) from fertility2family so that I know if and when I am ovulating… but otherwise I will just go on as normal.
It’s so different this time around though. I have my boy. I never expected to be so indifferent about falling pregnant. I never expected to be so strong about a future pregnancy, birth and beyond after my experiences with peri-natal mood disorders previously. But things feel so right… either way. I’m sure I’ll get more clucky as Cameron nears 2 but for now I’m content and just pleasantly surprised that my fertility may be returning.
Hopefully I can update soon saying that I got a positive OPK? Fingers crossed??