Beyond Struggling

I wasn’t going to share this but I figured I share everything else so why not.

My doctor has told me to abruptly wean off my medication for my anxiety disorder. I won’t go into the why, but I have been taking 50 mg of Zoloft (sertraline) for 18 months and have weaned of SNRIs and SSRIs in the past… it’s never good.

I’m one of the unlucky people who gets several of the symptoms of SSRI Discontinuation Syndrome.

Browsing the internet, I found this list of the possible side-effects that you can get from withdrawal. I have put the symptoms that I am getting in bold.

Neurologic symptoms include:

  • Dizziness
  • Vertigo
  • Lightheadedness
  • Difficulty walking

Somatic (bodily) complaints include:

  • Nausea/vomiting
  • Fatigue
  • Headaches
  • Insomnia

Less common difficulties:

  • Shock-like sensations
  • Parasthesia (skin crawling, burning or prickling)
  • Visual disturbances (blurred)
  • Diarrhea
  • Muscle pain
  • Chills

Non-specific mental symptoms:

  • Shock-like sensations
  • Agitation
  • Impaired concentration
  • Vivid dreams
  • Depersonalization – sense of unreality and loss of self
  • Irritability
  • Suicidal thoughts

———————————

Lucky me, right?

I won’t lie, I’m struggling. I can’t drive because of the shocks, vertigo, fatigue and lack of concentration. I can’t be the kind of mum I usually am.

I just can’t wait for it to be over.

Luckily, I am not anxious or panicky so I really feel like this is a good thing in the long run. & I know it won’t last too long, but at this point it feels like every minute longer is too much, you know?

I took my last tablet a week ago and I could be in for another week or more of this. It is phenomenal what one pill can do to your body. Sometimes I feel like an illicit-drug addict, jittery and on-edge.

I know it will be worth it in the end. But I want to break down and give up sometimes. I know I’m doing what I have to, and that I am just being a good Mum, but sometimes I wish that things just were simple.

Don’t we all, I guess.

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6 thoughts on “Beyond Struggling

  1. Rachel, oh my gosh what a huge ordeal to go through : ( I hope you have your hubby or somebody around to help out while you get through this.

    You’re right to share, we definitely should show the crappy along with the glorious. And that my dear, is one of the crappiest times I’ve ever heard of.

    You are a wonderful, inspirational woman, mother, person & blogger. I delight in each new post. I hope this experience doesn’t last much longer for you and you can get back to loving your mum-dom with Cammy asap.

    Hugs!

  2. Hang in there. You are an amazing mum from what I have read and an inspirational person. Thank you for your blog it means so much to me. And if you have the nouse to write a blog with such honesty, I believe you can pull yourself through anything. Take care of yourself. Things will be different soon. I and I am sure many others are sending beautiful and supportive thoughts to you.

  3. My heart goes out to you. I wish there was something I could do to help. I know you can get through this because as women, as mothers, we are stronger than we think. Be kind to yourself and I hope things get back to normal soon.

  4. Hang in there Rachel, it will get better. I have been through the same kind of withdrawal and it is brutal sometimes. Fish oil really helped me with the shocks and ginger capsules for the nausea. You are a great mom!

  5. I’m truly sorry to hear! I’ve been using Sertraline for about 5 months now, but the only side effect I’ve been experiencing is headache. Can’t they prescribe something else?

  6. hang in there, i have struggled with anxiety and depression for years, i constantly have to push myself to do things and try to be the best momma i can be for my 18 month old baby girl, it can be very very hard, ( i don`t get enough sleep because i get so anxious)
    i am happy i found your blog, congratulations on a new miracle!!! u are a wonderful mom, and your son is so handsome and so darn CUTE, things do get better they always do remember that, my heart goes out to you and your family

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